I Graduated... and I am FREAKED OUT!

Well friends, I am a little nervous about an upcoming interview. It is for a public relations/community relations/development position at a children's home. My first interview with them went very well and I was invited back for a second interview next week. The only thing that makes me nervous is they want me to do a writing/editing exercise when I am there next week. While I normally do quite well in these areas it is still a scary unknown. My editing skills are the thing I am most worried about. I have been known to split an infinitive or two in my day. :)

So I suppose this post is really a request for prayer. I really respect this organization and love the people that I have met so far. It is a job that I am very excited about and an organization that I can totally stand behind. Please pray that if this job is for me I would feel prepared--and be prepared--for the interview. It is hard to be peaceful sitting around in Texas waiting for my "future" to start; and it is hard to be present in the present when I really want to know what it coming up around the bend.

Speaking of the future, look what I just did!

I honestly have to say that the 4 1/2 hours I spent "graduating" and sitting watching all of the undergraduates walk across the stage was more painful than the two years I spent in graduate school. At least in graduate school we got bathroom breaks! :) The final picture with my hubby and parents is from my hooding ceremony on Friday night. It was great! We each gave a speech and then were awarded our hoods. And there were only 18 of us... not 1800!

Things I think are cute and make me smile

Today started out as a not-so-fun day. Therefore I have decided to post things that make me smile. Here is one to begin the tour of happy things.

Here is another one. This is how I feel...

This is too cute... I want to cuddle these little guys!

Adorable...

OSCAR!!!! What a cat!

Mzungu! That's what they called me! How I wish I could be in Africa today!

Gotta love the Pattersons!

When a Church Starts Eating Its Members

I have seen a sad thing today. I have seen a church that has ceased to be the Church. I have seen a group of people that I used to respect turn on one of their own. I have seen them behave in hateful ways. I have seen more than I ever wanted to see... and I am angry.

I am angry that we forgot what it means to be "be the family of God in this place." I am angry that we forsook our promise to each member. Today we beat down one of our own. The promise we made to her eighteen months ago seems long since forgotten.

"We pledge ourselves to be the family of God for you in this place. We offer you our love our care our kinship and our hopes. We hope to learn from you, give to you, and receive from you by Gods grace."

In our effort to be swift and political we lost our heart and the love of Christ. Where was grace today? Where was unconditional love? Where was Paul's admonition to confront one another in love first one-on-one and only later with a "posse"? It was far from my church. And quite frankly it makes me sick inside to think that I tithe to this cannibalistic collective.

Yes, there is no perfect church. I am not that disillusioned. But I am also not going to wear rose-colored glasses and claim that all is well. Since our head pastor left we have turned on one another. It almost reminds me of Lord of the Flies. We have truly lost hold of the reality that we only survive if we remain in authentic community.

It is a sad day indeed when a church starts eating its own members.

No News is Good News?

I am in that intolerable period called waiting. I am not very good at it. There is some freedom in naming and claiming the fact that I am inpatient and faithless. I have trouble seeing God working in this, but I know He is. I just got a call from Mercer today letting me know that I am still in the running for their Res. Life position. That was a shock! I hadn't heard anything from them since I applied in the end of February! Now I am faced with deciding if we are interested in potentially packing everything up and moving to Macon, GA. There is a seminary connected to Mercer (McAfee in Atlanta) but I am pretty sure my position would be in Macon (1 1/2 hrs away) which doesn't put us in a better position than waiting it out around here. I need to pray about this for awhile and see if that gets me any clarity. In the meantime I wanted to give you all an update. I haven't heard from Baylor on my various positions yet... but as the adage goes, "no news is good news." Right? :) God is good. Waiting is hard. :)

Mercer v. Baylor :)

The Cutest Cutie

Just wanted to post a brag. Look at my adorable buddy Josiah! He is my "nephew by choice", in other words, my cousin Andy and Sara's son. My Mom made him these rad (did I just say rad?) overalls with Thomas the Train! If anyone wants a pair I can forward your name on to my Mom. :) Isn't he cute? :)

Life in the Fast Lane

Life has been a little crazy lately...with my job search, assistantship, and my crazy final semester. I guess you could say I've been a little depressed at times. I hate being down. Quite frankly I am also very bad at it. I just wish I could get a hold on peace and never let go. It seems like I spend most of my days chasing it around the room instead of stopping to let it catch me.

While I firmly believe God is leading others it is so hard to turn that around and believe it about myself. Your prayers are coveted. Thank you to those of you who are already in constant prayer for Marc and I as we transition into "Carrie's post-graduate school life." And now on a happier note.

Here is a picture of Syler, Ryan and Kristen Richardson's adorable babe. He has the greatest personality--just like Isaiah Patterson--all smiles and giggles! It makes me miss home even more. The good part is that I get to see this little guy every Monday (and sometimes more often) so that tides me over until I can hit up the big city of Sioux Falls! Here are some pictures of Syler and my friend Marly who is moving to Costa Rica to study Spanish.

May the Lord bless you today as you go about your Wednesday!

Some thoughts on life right now

I'm trying to figure out what it means to be me right now. So much of my time is spent being distracted from truly being with myself. I find that some days I wake up in the silence and have trouble thinking of who I am beyond what I "do" with my days. I want to discover the essence of who God created me to be. I want to dig deeply into the heart of my God and see myself the way He sees me. I am a work in progress.

Here are some quotes that have been clanking around in my brain for a few days.

"Do not entertain the notion that you ought to advance your prayer. If you do, you will only find you have put on the brake instead of the acceleration. All real progress in spiritual things comes gently, imperceptibly, and is the work of God. Our crude efforts spoil it. Know yourself for the childish, limited, and dependant soul you are. Remember that the only growth which matters happens without our knowledge and that trying to stretch ourselves is both dangerous and silly. Think of the infinite Goodness, never of your own state."

~Evelyn Underhill

"Here's what I've decided: the very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof. What I want is so simple I almost can't say it: elementary kindness. Enough to eat, enough to go around. The possibility that kids might one day grow up to be neither the destroyers nor the destroyed. That's about it. Right now I'm living in this hope, running down its hallways and touching the walls on both sides. I can't tell you how good it feels."

~Barbara Kingsolver

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going, I do not see the roach ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road, through I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always, though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

~Thomas Merton