My Hunky Man

Look what I came home to today!

He is all mine! :) YUM! The way to a man's heart may be through his stomach, I don't know. But it is definitely the way to a pregnant mama's heart!

Addicted to the safe

This was the verse of the day in my email inbox this morning. Something about the verse struck me differently today.

"Do not let your hearts be troubled."

It isn't about not having worries, it is about choosing whether or not we will entertain them. I am not good at this. I so often entertain cares and concerns, going from point A to point Z in a millisecond as my mind wanders over and around all the possible worst case scenarios. But that is not who I am called to be. I am called to "trust in God."

Sometimes I don't think I really do trust God. I don't know what it is about God and I lately, but I seem to (very erroneously) think I could plan things a lot better than He does. I know I'm wrong, ultimately, I'm just scared.

My devotional several days ago included a passage from C.S. Lewis' book "The Silver Chair." In the story, Jill, a little girl from our world, accidentally ends up in Narnia. She is very thirsty and comes up to a stream but notices Aslan, a lion and the God figure, sitting next to the stream. She is, of course, scared of him. He says to her, "If you are thirsty, you may drink.'' She doesn't move.

"Are you not thirsty?'' said the Lion.

"I'm dying of thirst,'' said Jill.

"Then drink,'' said the Lion.

"May I, could I, would you mind going away while I do?'' said Jill.

The Lion answered this only by a look and a very low growl. And, as Jill gazed at its motionless bulk, she realized that she might as well have asked a whole mountain to move aside for her convenience.

The delicious rippling noise of the stream was driving her nearly frantic.

"Will you promise not to do anything to me, if I do come?'' said Jill.

"I make no promise,'' said the Lion.

Jill was so thirsty now that, without noticing it, she had come a step nearer.

"Do you eat girls?'' she asked.

"I have swallowed up girls and boys, women and men, kings and emperors, cities and realms,'' said the Lion. It didn't say this as if it were boasting, nor as if it were sorry, nor as if it were angry. It just said it.

"I daren't come and drink,'' said Jill.

"Then you will die of thirst,'' said the Lion.

"Oh dear!'' said Jill, coming another step nearer. "I suppose I must go and look for another stream then.''

"There is no other stream,'' said the Lion.

It never occurred to Jill to disbelieve the Lion ' no one who had seen his stern face could do that ' and her mind suddenly made itself up. It was the worst thing she had ever had to do, but she went forward to the stream, knelt down, and began scooping water in her hand. It was the coldest, most refreshing water she had ever tasted. You didn't need to drink much of it, for it quenched your thirst at once. Before she tasted it she had been intending to make a dash away from the Lion the moment she finished. Now she realized that this would be, on the whole, the most dangerous thing of all. She got up and stood there with her lips still wet from drinking.

I know that I fear God more than I should. I fear that He is out to get me or is about to let the "other shoe drop." I definitely don't do a very good job seeing him as a loving Father or the One who wants to wipe away my tears. I just can't seem to get past His wildness--He seems so unsafe.

The command, "trust in God" is probably one of the hardest things for me to do.

If it said, "trust in self," I would be set! If it said, "trust in Marc" or even "trust in your family" I would have it made. But it says, "trust in God" for a reason. And even if, like Jill, I am terrified, I know that the only relief I can find from my anxious thoughts and worries is to sit at the feet of the one who is not safe, but good.

Do you find yourself addicted to safety too? Please join me in my prayer that we would give up our addictions to safety and learn what it means to not let our hearts be troubled, but to trust in God--even if He isn't safe.

Pregnancy Reflections, Volume 2

Now that I've been rocking this pregnancy for about 5 months, I thought it was about time for another update. Here are some random thoughts.

-I've started to do things differently because I have no abs. For example I've totally changed the way I get out of the car, get up from the couch and get out of bed. I mean, it isn't like I had brag-worthy abs before, but now they are pathetically non-existent.

-People who know I'm pregnant smile at me and look at my belly. And depending on the shirt I'm wearing strangers either smile or stare. I think I might still be a little bit in that awkward, "Is she pregnant or just chubby?" phase. I'll be glad when that's over.

-Shopping in maternity stores is hilarious. Women checking out women...their bellies, that is. It is hilarious. I love that when I notice a pregnant lady checking out my belly I can read her mind. I know she is totally comparing our sizes. I guess it is the pregnant version of a guys locker room.

-Pardon my french, but where the hell am I supposed to buy underwear? Target doesn't have it, Walmart doesn't have it. I mean, I don't really want to fork over $14.99 for 3 pair at Motherhood Maternity. I live in the 16th poorest city in the nation, you would think they would have options that were cheap. I'm talking Hanes Her Way cheap, my friends. Am I just supposed to go commando?

-It is physically impossible to wash my hands at the sink without covering my shirt belly in water. Ridiculous.

-It is also physically impossible to eat pretty much anything without spilling on myself in a telltale track down the center of my shirt. Awesome.

-I feel the baby, her name is Vera, a lot now. She is pretty active around 3:30 in the afternoon and 10:30 at night. And when she isn't, I worry. And I know I shouldn't worry, but I still do.

-Marc felt Vera for the first time on Father's Day. Aw! :)

-Cheese is the best thing ever made. I love it. A lot.

That is it for now. I'll add more as I think of it. Thanks for reading!

The New Addition

Here are the newest additions to the Anderson household. Don't you love them! I found them on Craigslist for only $75 as a pair. AND the sweet owner dropped them off at our house for free and even sent me these great photos. I think they will be perfect for a nursery for our sweet little girl!

The dresser and wardrobe are going to get a fabulous makeover and I just can't wait to get started! Does anyone have an electric hand sander we could borrow? :)

Book Review: She Walks in Beauty

The book "She Walks in Beauty" by Siri Mitchell was a surprisingly good read. When I first received the book, I was not sure what I would think because the back cover description was very enigmatic. But the book was enjoyable.

The story centers around a young woman of 17 named Clara Carter. At the start of the book she is busy learning all that she can from her governess. But rather than learning the intracacies of Victorian society and how to dance and flirt, Clara is learning science, mathematics, and literature. In fact, Clara is doing so well that her governess is sure she will be ready to secretly try for acceptance into Vassar College--her only way out of officially debuting in society as an eligible female. Clara and her governess are hoping to beat the clock. She is supposed to debut after her 18th birthday.

Little does CLara know that life has other plans for her, or rather, her aunt has other plans. When CLara's aunt learns that one of the most elligible bachelors in New York is going to be looking for a bride this season, she jumps at the opportunity to usher Clara into society early and assures Clara's father that Clara will be the lucky lady that the suitor selects.

The following weeks and months are filled with lessons, frippery and Victorian silliness for Clara. Once the debut season begins Clara embarks on a battle for the hand of a man she doesn't even know, and her main competition is her best friend Lizzy. Lizzy and Clara promise to be true to one another throughout the season, but when the heir and his younger brother turn out to be different than they expected, their friendship and promises to test their friendship and their families.

Thrown in with all of this drama is the drama within Clara's family. As Clara becomes the socialite of the season, it becomes obvious that there is more to her family than she ever realized. And she learns that somehow her father, a doctor, is connected to the pain and devastation in the immigrant slums of New York City. And it could be that very connection which is keeping Clara in the public eye as the darling of the season.

I don't want to ruin the novel with more explanation, but suffice it to say, the novel is quite interesting and kept me up late one night just to finish the story. I will also say, that although it is very interesting and ends quite well, there were some frustrating loose ends that really needed to be wrapped up in order to maintain the integrity of Clara, the main character.

Even with that criticism, I would rate it a four out of five. It was a great story and I found it easy to loose myself within the beauty and tragedy of the Gilded Age.

Note for Full Disclosure: While I do not receive any monetary compensation for my book reviews, I am provided with free complimentary copies of each book. That being said, this review is completely my own, and free from the influence of Bethany House Book Publishers.

The Nugget Poll, Part 1

The Nuggster is doing quite well as far as I can tell. I "popped" yesterday and I am feeling pretty huge. I know that I will laugh at this post in the coming months, but it is how I feel. I can actually feel my belly stretching! Crazy.

We find out a little more about the Nugget on Tuesday. We are going to try to see if it lets us know if it is of the male or female variety. We're hoping the Nugget isn't too shy with this important piece of information. :) I'm thinking boy and Marc is thinking girl. We would be happy with either, we just want to know!

What do you think? Vote in the poll on the right sidebar. Time is running out! The mystery will soon move on to "Does the baby have hair?" and "Will the baby get the famed Anderson nose?"

So vote now before the mystery is history. Wow...that was lame.

But seriously, vote. It makes me happy. :)

Pregnancy Reflections Volume 1

Now that I've been rocking this pregnancy for a few months, I thought it was about time for an update. Here are some random thoughts.

-I think it is funny that people pat my belly. I COMPLETELY understand the urge to pat a rounded prego belly, I myself often have the same urge when I see pregnant acquaintances. I just think that being the pregnant person, it is a weird thing to get used to. That being said, if you see me, (edit: and actually KNOW me) feel free to pat the bump. I have no problem with the belly touching, it is just weird to suddenly surrender part of yourself... then again, I should probably get used to that now.

-I may or may not be feeling the baby. (Stop reading if the thought of bodily functions is disturbing.) It could just be gas. Either way, I'm ready for "really" feeling the baby. After several months of not a lot of pregnancy symptoms, I'm ready for this to all start feeling real. I mean, beyond the fact that my pants don't fit. :)

-Don't ever tell a pregnant woman that she is showing early unless you are SURE she will take it as a compliment.

-Tailbone pain sucks. Darn you South Dakota childhood and all your episodes of breaking/bruising my tailbone.

-Drinking so much water is hard. I am BAD at drinking a lot of water. Plus, drinking the water means going to the bathroom more, and I'm finally enjoying the second trimester break from the constant urge to pee!

-Don't laugh at me, annoyingly smile or pat my head when I tell you I want a natural childbirth (in the hospital, but with no drugs). Don't patronize me, people. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that people all over the world do it. I know it will hurt like I've never hurt before. But I also know that this is what we want and I could really use some positive voices on the subject rather than a bunch of downers. As a side note, don't assume that by saying I want a natural child birth that I am somehow saying you are less of a mother because you did not go the natural route. Just let me be me...you be you.

-I just slept through the night last night for the first time in months without having to get up to go to the bathroom. What a blessing. I know it won't last long, but the reprieve was nice. It also made me worry that something was wrong with the baby. I hear that this is normal, however.

-I love cheese. A lot.

-I am struggling a little with my body image. Being overweight to begin with, my pregnancy bump has a little extra padding. I'm just looking forward to the day when I sit down and have one belly bump instead of two. The belly button dividing line isn't cute in my opinion. Too much information? :)

-The hardest thing to give up during pregnancy has been spray paint. No, not huffing it! I miss being able to effortlessly transform household objects on a whim. Now I have to have Marc do it, and let's be honest, he lacks my expertise in the spray painting skills department.

That is it for now. Hope you enjoy my reflections, rants, etc. Thank you all for your support. I have some crafty things in the works, I've just had to put that on hold while we had family in town. Yay for family in town, though! :)