Okay, so our apartment smells like smoke. Our downstairs neighbors are smokers... no... CHAIN smokers. I have a lot of tolerance for smokers as long as they don't smoke near me or my things. They have a right to smoke. I have a right to breathe. So lately (since July) we have been smelling their nasty bi-product on a daily basis in the bathroom and occasionally the living room, but it just crossed the line last night when it intruded into the bedroom too. So I have been struggling with anger today. It doesn't help that I was by myself all day since Marc was at work. I just feel out of control and taken advantage of. We tried to call the management but they are on vacation for Christmas. So then I checked on my emails and got this from Henri Nouwen.com.
"Life is unpredictable. We can be happy one day and sad the next, healthy one day and sick the next, rich one day and poor the next, alive one day and dead the next. So who is there to hold on to? Who is there to feel secure with? Who is there to trust at all times?Only Jesus, the Christ. He is our Lord, our shepherd, our rock, our stronghold, our refuge, our brother, our guide, and our friend. He came from God to be with us. He died for us, he was raised from the dead to open for us the way to God, and he is seated at God's right hand to welcome us home. With Paul, we must be certain that "neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nothing already in existence and nothing still to come, nor any power, nor the heights nor the depths, nor any created thing whatever, will be able to come between us and the love of God, known to us in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39)."
It is humbling and a good reminder despite the fact that I am still very angry. I feel frustrated and yet amidst the craziness I am reminded of the joy of those who have no home at all. Having seen what we have seen in Kenya it is hard to reconcile my anger over our situation with reality for so many individuals.